Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

 

Finding the Pulse by =Kiltul:iconKiltul:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


A simple 'hi' and we're on our way
Don't know what else to say
To something new we've never done
Something cool and something fun

A something so passionate and sweet
This something sweeps me off my feet
It takes me up and up so high
That I stand now on the sky

The kiss comes quick and fast
Oh, I wish it would last
Time stops and seems so still
Who'd have thunk it's such a thrill?

My breathing stops and won't return
My eyes closed so long it burns
I can feel every part
Every part, except my heart...

I can feel my face and limbs,
I just can't feel my pulse
©2008-2009 =Kiltul
:iconkiltul:

Author's Comments

Wrote this based off of the last two lines. They were written in a completely random conversation by ~Hakita-Chakita, but sparked an inspiration in me so strong I couldn't resist writing a poem. At first I didn't want it to rhyme at all...but again, I'm a sucker for rhyms XD

Please Critique
Copyright =Kiltul

Critiques


Thank you for your Critique

You are not logged in.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconmyownformoftherapy:
=MyOwnFormOfTherapy May 29, 2008, 8:30:46 PM
*rhymes
haha xD thunk it, nice :D
but I can feel your pulse xD

--
"What's after this?" "Third base..." -Devi
Hey batter, batter, batter, batter SWING -Emily P. and Dark

yay hands! [link]
:iconkiltul:
=Kiltul May 29, 2008, 8:32:20 PM
that just means you didn't kill me XD
could I enter this for your contest? I haven't entered anything yet, and I said I would...soooooo, yeah. I don't know if it would go under any of them though

--
Snails see the benefits,
The beauty in every inch.
:iconmyownformoftherapy:
=MyOwnFormOfTherapy May 29, 2008, 8:33:48 PM
xD lazy lazy kiltul
uh, if you can find what it fits for oO

--
"What's after this?" "Third base..." -Devi
Hey batter, batter, batter, batter SWING -Emily P. and Dark

yay hands! [link]
:iconkiltul:
=Kiltul May 29, 2008, 8:36:34 PM
sloth? like me? (lol, Jk) uhh...the only one that could pertain is lust...but it really isn't a lust poem...so maybe...greed? I'm so greedy I'd be willing to stop my heart so I could have you XD I don't know, I guess I'll come up with something else for your contest, it just doesn't fit.

--
Snails see the benefits,
The beauty in every inch.
:iconmyownformoftherapy:
=MyOwnFormOfTherapy May 29, 2008, 8:40:19 PM
xD lol yeah
please do! ^^

--
"What's after this?" "Third base..." -Devi
Hey batter, batter, batter, batter SWING -Emily P. and Dark

yay hands! [link]
:iconhakita-chakita:
~Hakita-Chakita May 29, 2008, 8:41:55 PM
It fits to lust silly!

--
"Wait...I have to say and epic quote?" - Tea
:iconkiltul:
=Kiltul May 29, 2008, 8:43:00 PM
I'll try to remember, I really want to enter, but I have to come up with something first!

--
Snails see the benefits,
The beauty in every inch.
:iconhakita-chakita:
~Hakita-Chakita May 29, 2008, 8:43:18 PM
Wow, you really turn those few random words into something amazing. I like this a lot, great job! It's nice to know that I've inspired someone...now if I could only inspire myself to make some cool art...hmm...

--
"Wait...I have to say and epic quote?" - Tea
:iconkiltul:
=Kiltul May 29, 2008, 8:45:12 PM
lol, I'm sure you'll surpass me someday XD

--
Snails see the benefits,
The beauty in every inch.
:iconhakita-chakita:
~Hakita-Chakita May 29, 2008, 8:53:12 PM
uh, doubt that! I can't get what's in my head onto a piece of paper or something like that. And a good thing too, because sometimes the things in my head are too scary for myself to even understand.

--
"Wait...I have to say and epic quote?" - Tea
Previous Page12345...Next Page

Details

May 29, 2008
807 bytes

Statistics

123
8 [who?]
196 (0 today)
0 (0 today)

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy